Orphan Heart or Son Heart

Looking at the orphan heart is a daunting task. Not many know about this topic and those that do, when they understand their own heart it is hard to grasp. Why? Because you see your wounds live and in color and that can be hard especially if you see them for the first time and finally realize what the problem is–you.

I have been doing a series on my podcast Reveal about the orphan heart. Check it out at the link below if you haven’t. I wanted to bring light to this area in the lives of hurting women. God designed us to have the heart of a son in intimate fellowship with Him. But our wounds cause us a lot of problems in this area a lot of times without us realizing what the source of the problem is. I want to shed light on that “source” and help you to be free.

Here are 20 short characteristics of the orphan heart vs the heart of a son.

Read and compare and see where you fit. As you read and listen in the podcast series you will begin to get free and/or get information about how to get free. 

When you have an orphan heart you close your heart off to love.

When you are not secure in Father God’s love for you or for other people love will hurt. Love should be the most natural thing for all of us but for most of us, it is not. Love hurts for a lot of people but I don’t want that for you. 

How do you know if you have a heart of a son or a heart of the orphan, let’s see:

1. Image of God– the orphan heart sees God as the taskmaster. The heart of a son sees God as the loving Father. 
2. Dependency – the orphan heart is independent and self-reliant but the son heart is totally dependent on Father God; they are interdependent. They need a community of the love of God and the Body of Christ. 
3. Theology – orphans live by the love of law. They relate to God on the basis of laws. The son heart lives by the law of love. They value truth and living to receive Father’s love and give it away to all they meet. 
4. Security – the orphan heart is insecure and covers their insecurities. Sons are at peace and rest with the Father God and people.
5. Need for approval – orphans are addicted to and strive for praise, approval, and acceptance of man but the son heart is not. They are totally accepted in God’s love and His grace. They are not striving. 
6. Motive for Service – Orphans serve out of a sense of need for personal achievement but the son heart serves out of joy and a deep sense of gratitude for God’s love.
7. Motive behind Christian disciplines – the orphan heart is apathetic and can possess no motivation for observing Christian discipline like prayer, Bible study etc and feel this is a duty. But the heart of the son finds Christian disciplines very pleasing and a delight rather than a duty.
8. Motive for purity – the orphan heart believes they must be holy to be accepted by God that they must be pure to win God’s favor but the heart of the son is holy out of the love of father God.
9. Self image – the orphan heart generally has a low self image and an attitude of self rejection. They also compare themselves to other people the heart of the son feels affirmed loved by the father God and they can pick themselves up and keep going because they feel secure in love.
10. Source of comfort – the orphan heart seeks comfort in counterfeit affections. This could be addictions, escapism, hyper religious activity,  sex and more. But the heart of the son finds comfort in times of quiet solitude and resting in Father’s presence.
11. Peer relationships – the orphan heart relates to people through competition, rivalry or jealousy. They think they have to fight for every advantage of life. The heart of the son in peer relationships are about humility and unity and they honor and value people and rejoice in blessings and success of other people. They don’t fear the success of other people or their advancement.
12. Handling others faults – the orphan hearted person doesn’t handle conflict very well. They are self-focused and resort to accusation and expose other peoples faults while trying to hide their own. The heart of a son is relationship oriented. They cover other peoples faults.
13. View of authority – the orphan hearted person views authority as a source of pain and they are suspicious of any other authority except their own. They do not trust others’ motives and they lack a heart attitude of humility and submission. The son however is respectful of authority and honoring legitimate authority and sees authority as an extension of God’s love towards them. Basically the heart of a son is teachable.
14. View of admonition – the orphan has difficulty receiving admonition even when godly. They have difficulty acknowledging when they’re wrong because in their mind they must be right. So, when a correction or admonition comes they take it as a personal offence. The heart of the son however receives admonition as a blessing and as a needed thing in their life to help any weaknesses they may be operating in that they are not aware of.
15. Expression of love – the orphan heart is guarded and it is conditional in its expression of love. The heart of the son however is open, transparent and affectionate.
16. Sense of God’s presence – the heart of the orphan, if they sense God’s presence at all, it is conditional and distant but the heart of the son enjoys a close intimate relationship with father God and senses His presence very near.
17. Condition – Orphans carry a lot of bondage. They are slaves to their fear, their mistrust, their interdependence, their self-reliance, their self-righteousness, self-justification, and their loneliness. The heart of a son lives in liberty, and in love free from fear, shame, humiliation and guilt. They have no need to prove themselves.
18. Position – the heart of the orphan lives their life as if they do not have a home. They feel like a servant or slave. The heart of a son is at rest in peace and feels as if they have a safe harbor with father God.
19. Vision – the heart of the orphan is fired up by ambition. They desire some spiritual achievement and are willing to strive to achieve it. But the heart of the son has no desire to prove, no striving after a position, power or prestige. They are content simply to experience the Father’s presence daily.
20. Future – the orphans future is always uncertain and they have to fight for everything they feel that. They feel they have no inheritance and that they must compete. They depend solely on their gifts or talents. But the heart of the son is willing to wait for the inheritance because they know they have a future with God and it’s bright.

The Lord is with you always. Your destiny is not to keep an orphan heart. God will never leave you or abandon you. There is hope. Do not give up hoping and believing for your freedom. 

If you would like more information on the orphan heart please listen to my 5-part teaching on my podcast Reveal here at this link

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