The Traps of Distraction: Has It Affected Your Dreams?

The traps of distraction affect your dreams in big ways. This statement leads me to write probably one of the most important blogs I have ever written. (Like I haven’t said this before).

No seriously. There has been so much going on in my life the past few months that the questions from me to the Lord have been like arrows from a quiver and the responses back have been life changing. But one thing I will never understand fully, is why the Lord lets us get out there so far on a limb in our lives, carefully watching us, but letting us go down roads that we will eventually realize we shouldn’t have gone down. I’m guessing it’s a learning moment, right?

Now the roads are sometimes not bad but just a road that’s not the perfect will of God for us. Haven’t you ever wondered that? Life sure would be a lot better, easier and just plain ole enjoyable if we just didn’t take those detours. But, what causes those detours?

Distraction!!!!!!! We are going to talk about this. Then I will tell you how I got free.

Distraction is a topic that you don’t hear much about. It’s not preached much or at least I haven’t heard it. But distraction is quite a beast of terror to your life, job, career, ministry and almost any goals you have set if you let it get out of control. It’s a dream stealer and dream killer.

I wrote this blog because distraction truly got me so off track I have had to make major swift changes to my life to get back on track. I wanted to share with you all what I have walked through so you may see yourself and get back on track if you have been sucked into this hole.

Let’s begin. I have been distracted by the following life issues for quite some time and frankly it took a while to really see it and get free from it. These are very subtle distractions but powerful. they were: making money for survival, my health, lack of sleep, the future, adult children, loneliness and depression.

MAKING MONEY FOR SURVIVAL

The life issue of making money was a distraction for me because since my divorce I have been under a lot of stress to make a living for myself. I had been a housewife/homeschool mom for my entire children’s lives. I enjoyed that stage of life greatly. I was sad when it ended. But by then or in the middle of that I was divorce and left with no way to really support myself. Without going into all the details out of fear I have spent countless hundreds of hours looking for a job or career.

I would literally spend hours upon hours applying for jobs, looking for ways to help myself and income while being a mom and not leaving my children at home all day but honestly nothing fit our lives that God would allow. I know, I know some of you say “surely you could find a job” … well I didn’t God literally wouldn’t allow it and told me “I will take care of you, I need you to write books and minister to women “. But how many of us know that God can say something but our minds still try to figure it out and reason with what He said. That was me. I would settle down for a few months and not look and then go right back to looking. It filled every thought of my mind and day. It kept me from writing all I wanted to write and focus on the gifts He gave me.

But God is and was faithful. He has taken care of me everyday of the tragedy I lived and He has been incredibly giving to me.

MY HEALTH

This is a big one for me and probably for a few of you. Our health as women is all we have. If we are not okay– our families, homes, and children are not okay. We are the glue that holds it all together. Because of the stress of divorce I was under my health took a hit. I hurt in every part of my body a person could hurt in for years. I ached all over like I had some horrible disease. I spent so much time in doctor offices only to be told “Ms. Carter there is nothing wrong but you have stress. What are you stressed about? You must learn to handle your stress better” Wow! You think. So on a journey I went with naturopathic doctors to get results.

The distraction of this took years of stealing my writing. You can’t write or do ministry the way the Lord wants you to if you feel horrible in your body. In a given month I may have felt good one day a. month.

LACK OF SLEEP

Sleep is a gift from God. We are supposed to sleep and get good and rest. Our bodies rest and get restored. But if you don’t get the proper amount of rest no matter the reason your body will eventually pay for it and it won’t be pretty. I have not slept good for probably 15 years could be longer! Why? Insomnia due to stress and menopause. Menopause has hurt my body in so many ways that are too many to name. But some of you reading this you know what I am talking about. Hot, cold, tossing, turning, night sweats, mood swings and more.

I feel like I have lived an unbearable existence because of lack of sleep. I have been living on fumes and it’s felt like it. No matter what I tried I couldn’t get back to feeling like my normal old self or young self. This distraction mixed with the others was just a no win situation for me.

THE FUTURE

The future. This distraction seemed impossible to get rid of. Every day I lived after divorce all I could think about it seemed was the future. My future. What would that look like? How would I live in a world alone without family, husband and what I had known for almost 25 yrs as normal. I thought and carried constantly the future of my two sons, and bills and debt and how to manage things alone. How to do this new life without a life partner. Would I die alone one day? Who would help me if I were sick and more? The thoughts were crushing on nearly a daily basis. Some days better than others but still the future was always there stealing my today.

ADULT CHILDREN

Ok. I love my sons more than anything in life but some of you can agree with me adult children are hard. Not problem hard but hard in the sense that you see all of their decisions and it is hard to not “mother” them. It’s a huge learning curve and when you have no mate to bounce things off of you just keep going on the same road and mother your kids to death. It was stressful for all of us in the house together trying to find a balance as they grew older and I was forced into a new role in their lives. Adult children rebel against what you say, not because of sin but because they need to find their own way.

I constantly carried my kids in my heart and the things they did. It was like my mind could never just be free of thinking, handling or discussing something with them about their lives and decisions. I’m tired. That wreaked havoc on writing.

LONELINESS

Now this one is huge for me probably the worst of all the distractions. Now don’t get me wrong. I have lots of friends. I know a lot of people and my iPhone is filled with numbers of people I could call, talk to etc. But I was lonely. I have been so lonely over the years for my mate and normalcy that it felt like my skin crawled for touch, a hug, a conversation etc. I’m a people person and I don’t do well with just being alone. When my sons were smaller we did everything together. I rarely left them alone. I was with one or the other all the time. But as they grew up the roles changed. They got cars and jobs and that was the end of being with mom. They had lives. I was left alone. More than I wanted to admit. I was lonely for many, many years even if I was with people or friends. I was. lonely for love and family. It hurt and I focused on it for far too long and allowed it to take my writing time.

DEPRESSION

This evil beast of emotion was ruling in full force. Depression sucked the very life out of my life. In the early years I spent weeks in bed, the couch, church, my car in depression. Early on in the divorce problems I didn’t even homeschool my kids. I can admit it now, but I let them play all day. The only way my oldest made it through school to graduation was he was already smart and a self-learner and would just work the workbooks but my younger son suffered the most in learning. It took a miracle and Jesus to help him. He pulled through and went on to be on the Dean’s list every semester of college. Thank you Jesus!

But depression took a huge toll on my life. I was judged by people, misunderstood by people, I couldn’t work because of it, my hormones suffered because of it, I hid my real self from people all the while doing ministry. It was a horrible way to live. My life felt destroyed. I had to fight off so many things in my thought life I was exhausted at the end of every day trying to live to get into the next day. I lived almost every day in what seemed like a funnel of nothing getting done and guilt of why I didn’t get anything done on a daily basis.

Now how did I come out of all this…..? One obedient act at a time. God sent help. God sent the right people to help me. I had to cut off some people. I had to obey every instruction God gave me with seeing nothing at first changing.

The health issue worked out because I started going to the most wonderful naturopath ever that helped get my body back in balance. The adult children issues worked out because I finally stopped being helicopter mom and moved to the role of advisor and let them do what they do and I gave those things to Jesus. The future is working out because I stay living in today not tomorrow and trust Jesus with tomorrow… I just got tired of trying to be in the future. God has my future. The sleep issue is working out with the help of the naturopath. Amazing how when the body is in balance you sleep better. Making money for survival… well that one I am working on. As the other things come into line I can now focus on the career of writing more and being more consistent. Believe it or not while this is happening the depression has left. Now for the loneliness…this one is still a work in progress. We need each other and we need people in our personal lives. I am trusting God to handle that.

But, finally…. if any of these situations is you… don’t lose hope. God is with you and He will never leave you, NEVER. You will make it. I did and so will you. Keep going but get out your journal and take a long look at where you are distracted from the things of the kingdom and then deal with them one by one.

Email me back let me know what you discovered or what you got free from. You can learn more about me in the books I wrote here My Books.

Selah.