Discipline of the Balanced Life

March 25

“Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.” ~ Ephesians 5:15 

Time is something that is so precious that once you use it up its gone and you can’t get any more until the next day. Wow! A balanced life goes with time & with wisdom. Both of which are very precious. If one or both of these is out of balance you are in trouble and probably living outside the margins of your life.

Would you say, before you do this lesson, that you have a balanced life and balanced time? Yes or no.

Discipline of Balance in your Life

Having a balanced life takes work. It actually takes intentional time and thought.

There are probably many people you know that are out of balance with their time.

But do you know that time is a very precious thing you cannot get back once it is gone.  We must learn to use our time wisely. We must become people that have discipline of our time, if not it will be lost.

Therefore, something this important should be treated with great value and respect. Respecting time is important and necessary. But, how do they go together. Many think that they do not. But they do.

You must respect your life enough to value your time and how you spend each day.  You must honor the gift of time you have been given and the talents you have to use within each day. You must be a steward of your time. You must also steward your life well. You only get one.

But, how do you balance time in your life when your life is so busy and you may feel out of control of it all. How do you gain more order in your life and why is this important?

Let’s start with why it is important.

By design, women take on different roles at different times in their lives and different responsibilities.

Women are busy. We are nurturers, moms, wives, etc. But to fulfill all those roles and duties we need to be healthy. You cannot burn the bridge at both ends, so to speak, and live a productive life. It is important for the health of your life.

A lot of people do not see that balance is important in the areas of sleep, eating, or working in order to live a whole happy life.

I know some of you think that you can’t have balance because of the demands of life but, I am talking about healthy balance.

We are going to discuss here how to create a unique plan for you to have balance in your life in key areas that can help produce wholeness for which you are designed to live.

Your purpose, which we discussed earlier cannot really be lived out in a stressful environment. To gain this much needed balance you will need to really be proactive and intentional about what you want to achieve. You will have to guard your life on all sides from time stealers.

At the end of this lesson you should be:

• Able to identify parts of your life that require balance and order so that you can achieve a more healthy life-style
• Able to use the Healthy Life Balance worksheet as a tool to help you set goals for balanced living
• Able to identify specific character traits that need to be present in your life in order to achieve more balance.

Key Areas in Life that Need Balance

1. Spiritual

This is a foundational area to your life on which all other areas are built.

• You must have daily time with the Lord building your relationship with Him.

Have a set aside time of the day you choose, but have it. Make time for Him in your life. Get to know the Father each and every day. Become His friend.

• You must make sure you are in fellowship with other believers in church and serving if you can.

Do not let this one get away from you. You need other believers. Find a good faith-based church that you can be a part of and fellowship with other believers and grow. Serve in the community and be the change you want.

• Communion is a spiritual discipline you can add to your life.

Take the time to reflect on what Jesus did on the cross. Take time to be still and remember His body and blood and what that means for you as a believer. (I have included a prayer at the end of this lesson to use while taking communion.)

• Discipline yourself in the habit of scripture memory, meditation, solitude and fasting.

All of these will add more spiritual balance to your life. Try to do a fast more than once a year to keep yourself in balance spiritually and growing. Memorize your favorite scriptures and meditate on them daily.

Where in your spiritual life are you out of balance and the adjustment needs to be made?

2. Physical

You must take care of your body. You only have one body and you can’t abuse it. You need a healthy body to live out your purpose in the earth.

• Nutrition

This is a must. Make sure that you are eating healthy. If this area is a problem, you should pray and ask God to help you and strengthen you. You may need to see a nutritionist or get help from your doctor. But, get the knowledge you need in this area for the healthy life you want.

• Vitamins

Take vitamins if you need them. Research what the best vitamins are. Ask someone at a good herbal store or your doctor.

• Exercise

This is a hard one because people have limitation of all kinds. But if you are able try to exercise at least 3-4x a week. Swim, walk, cardio, or other form of exercise. It will only benefit you.

Where is your physical life out of balance and areas you need to bring into balance?

3. Social

We are social beings. A lot of us need to be with people. But a lot of us need to have balance in how often we are with other people. This is another tricky area. There are some people that just like to be alone. That is okay. That works for them. But, those individuals need to be aware that sometimes, their presence is needed with other people to be a blessing to them and being alone is not the best choice in those moments. Then there are others of you, that you love to be with people. You may need to pull back sometimes and learn to just be with yourself. Remember, balance is the key here.  Here are a few areas socially to bring balance in.

• Establish a strong support system of girlfriends

This may be challenging for you and then it may not. But, if you don’t have this you may need to pray about this and ask God why you don’t. This will take some work and effort in transparency of the heart on your part. But if you can add this to your life, it will be well worth it. If you have, like most women, been hurt by other women, you still need this in your life. Trust God for the right friendship circle.

• Have a girl’s get away

Doesn’t that sound fun! This will also take time. You will have to plan to have one of these. You will have to be intentional to make it happen. Go where you like, have fun, let your hair down. But, as a caution, make sure that you go with some friends that don’t stress you out or those with a lot of personality clash. That will defeat the purpose of the trip.

• Join a good Bible study group or social activity group

This is a great way to meet people and get out at the same time. Get to know women as you all study the Bible together or do some other activity together.

• Date night with your husband

When was the last time you really dated your mate? If it has been a while, why? Date him. Get out explore a new restaurant or other activity and have fun.

• Family night with the kids

A lot of families don’t do this. We let time slip by and we forget that we need to spend time with our children and not always in the car running out the door. Plan some fun inexpensive things to do. Parks, movies, family board game night. Have fun!

• Fun

When was the last time you just had fun? Make time for fun and laughter with yourself. Find something that you love to do that is fun and have FUN!

What areas of your social life do you need to bring into balance?

4. Emotional/Mental

The emotional and mental side of you may need balancing. We as women sometimes go and go and go until there is nothing left to go with or for. We let everything in life drain us and never take the time to really think about the emotional side of our lives. You must be able to take care of yourself emotionally, manage your feelings and control them. You must learn self-care. Here are some ways to help with that.

• Journaling

If you like to write, then journaling can be very healing and healthy way to express yourself. Get a journal and write out your feelings or emotions. It can be very therapeutic.

• Reading

Reading and getting lost in a good book can feed your soul and your mind.

• Effective Communication

Learn to communicate effectively. Maybe you need to learn how to communicate better to have better relationships with people. Are you a listener? Do you let others speak and you really listen to what they have to say? Practice this in your daily life.

• Personal Evaluation

This is a good one. Give yourself a personal evaluation about how you are doing? What track are you on? Are you living the way you should or do you need to change anything? Do a self- inventory of your life.

What areas of emotional and mental balance do you need to bring to your life?

5. Financial

This is a number #1 stressor in the lives of almost everyone. This puts stress in marriages, relationships, friendships, businesses and more.

• Budget

If you do not have one get one. Put yourself, your family and your life on a budget.

• Investing

Nothing but good can come from investing if you do it long term. Read a book or two on investing and add this to your life if you need to. Teach it to your children and grandchildren.

• Planning for future retirement

Invest in a retirement plan. Plan for the future. It not something you think about much in your early life but seek out wisdom in this area.

• Save, save, save

Plain and simple, save.  Open a savings account and save all you can. Have an emergency fund with money in it strictly for emergencies that come up in your life.

What financial areas of balance do you need to bring to your life?

So, now that we have gone over some areas of importance let’s switch gears to areas or characteristics of a person with a balanced life. What does a balanced person’s life really look like. Let’s take a look.

1. Organization

A person with a balanced life is for the most part organized. They have order in their life. Everything is not perfect, but if you have an organized life your life doesn’t really look out of control.

But, the woman whose life is out of control is out of control in a lot of areas: Their time, their marriage, their kids, their money, their personal life, their friendships, etc.

This organized person is not always running late, able to talk to you without sounding like they are in a hurry and have to go. They are not running in a million different directions.They keep a good working schedule and calendar. They live a more simple life and model that.

They are able to keep a good calendar, they declutter their homes and they delegate when necessary.

2. Simple life.

Another characteristic is they live a simple lifestyle to actually get a handle on organization. Home life needs to be simple, keep out trouble, stop trying to do more and more, learn to rest in God. This person is not taking on endless activity all the time. Busyness may come in seasons but not as a general lifestyle. They are usually not looking for the stimuli and excitement all the time.

3. Learn to say NO it is not a bad word!

While your heart may want to say yes, the reality is you may need to say NO to a few things or a lot of things.

Every time you say yes to something you actually say no to something you probably should be doing more important.

How do you do that? How can you say no in situations where you keep saying yes? Here are a few things you could say if you find yourself in certain circumstances where you get caught saying yes.

Personal level suggestions to help with saying NO: 

1. “While my heart wants to say yes, yes, yes, the reality of my time makes this a “no.”
2. “I am honored by your request but I’m in a season of refocusing my priorities and have committed not to add anything new right now.”
3. “After living at an unhealthy breakneck pace for too long, I’m learning to realistically assess my capacity. Though I would love to say yes, the reality of my limitations means I must say no this time.”
4. “I so appreciate you asking me, but I must be brave and decline this opportunity. Saying no is hard for me but necessary in this season. Thank you for understanding.”
5. “I’ve promised my family not to add any new commitments to my schedule right now. Thank you for our friendship that allows me to be honest with my realities.”

Professional level suggestions to help with saying NO:

6. “Thank you for thinking of me. Your project sounds wonderful. However, as much as I would love to be involved, I can’t give your project the attention it deserves right now.”
7. “While I would love to connect about your new project, I’ve discovered this is one of those activities I must give up while trying to ____________________ (write my book, start my business, stick to my project, etc.) Saying yes would just enable my unhealthy habit of procrastination. Thank you for understanding and helping me push through to the finish line.”
8. “While I don’t have time for a lunch appointment, I’d love to connect for a few minutes over the phone. I can talk from 8-8:30am.”
9. “Thank you so much for caring enough about me to want my involvement. Unfortunately, I’m not able to participate this time. But I’m certainly cheering for your continued success.”

Grace Homework:

I want you to take a look at your life. See where you are out of balance. I bet you already know. Be honest and answer the following questions. You may even need to ask someone else that cares about you where they see you out of balance. It can be difficult to see our out of balance life in its true reality.

List areas that you need to say NO in.

List areas that you need to be more organized in.

List 1-3 areas you could make your life more simple.

List 1-3 places you could do a possible girls get-a-way.

List 1-3 places you could go on a date night.

List 1-3 ways you could add exercise to your life.  

Communion Prayer

Say this prayer while taking holy communion as often as you need to

Heavenly Father, I thank you for sending your Son, Jesus Christ to redeem mankind. I thank you that, through Christ’s suffering, he purchased a threefold redemption for my spirit, mind, and body. Today I ask you to bless this bread that represents the body of Christ. Bless the fruit of the vine that represents the precious blood of Christ.

Father, as you have forgiven me, so I forgive those who have sinned against me. Lord, I forgive and release anyone who has wronged me and I ask you to search my spirit and remove any trace of sin or disobedience from my life. I repent for any sins I have committed against anyone and against myself. Today, I release from my mental prison anyone who has hurt me in any way and I ask you to bless them and help them spiritually.

Father, as I receive this Communion, I ask you to bring strength and health to me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically because of the New Covenant that was sealed through the sufferings of Christ. Father, Jesus carried my infirmities; therefore, I ask you to lift from me what Jesus has carried for me. I receive it by faith and I give you all the glory and honor in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

Here is the link for this lesson in my coaching workbook on Amazon called Grace to Live Coaching Program. Click Here.