The Discipline of Speech
“But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” ~ James 3:8
The way we speak is everything. Words are containers for our life. If we do not like the way our lives look, part of that is because of the way we speak. We get what we say. We live what we say. We see what we say. Discipline of speech takes time.
Much patience. Much training. Let’s begin.
Speech Life
How often do you think about the words that you say on a daily basis? Words are extremely powerful. The words you say will shape your world. The words you say which are unseen manifest in the seen realm we live in.
If you don’t like the way your life looks, the things you have, the friends you have, the way your body looks, your income, your career, your attitude, your marriage, your children, etc… take a closer LOOK at what you’re saying.
Put the microscope to your mouth and see what you’re saying.
This lesson may be challenging because we are trained to talk but not how to choose our words. For the most part, we are not masters of our tongues. Our words fall out at will and sometimes we give no thought to them or who they affect, even if that person is ourselves.
The word of God says that we have the fruit of our words. Here is the verse.
“A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth: but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence.” – Proverbs 13:2(KJV)
If you’re not loving life or even enjoying life you must speak what is right. You must speak life-giving, healing, wholesome words. Here is the verse for this principle.
“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.”- I Peter 3:10 ESV
Your words matter and the words you use will give you the life you want.
How do you talk? Think about this. Are your words mainly negative, hurting, cutting and of doubt?
How do you speak to those around you? Your children? Spouse? Friends? Are you encouraging, soft, non-critical, loving, etc. Think about this and put your answers below.
What do you say about other people when they are not around? Think about this and put your answers below.
Did you know that your thinking is connected to your talking? We say what we think. We rarely say what we don’t think about.
The Bible is full of scriptures concerning our speech, what we are to be saying and why and the consequences of those words.
Instead of me teaching you how and why you should speak, I want the word of God to teach you this week.
This lesson will help you develop discipline to get into the scripture for yourself and see what verses the Holy Spirit will tell you that you need to add to your life concerning your words.
Scriptures
Here is a list of scriptures I want you to look up and write out. Go over this list this week and learn from them. Mark them in your Bible and make mental note of the ones that are your favorite.
Write out these Scriptures on a piece of paper or look them up.
Ephesians 4:29
Colossians 4:6
Ephesians 5:4
Proverbs 18:20-21
Proverbs 15:1-2
Proverbs 21:23
Matthew 12:36
Proverbs 10:19
Can you see that words create your destiny? Words are powerful containers. What are you filling your containers with? The words you speak create your life. They create the things you see in your life and feel in your emotions.
You can talk yourself into a bad mood by your words. You can also talk yourself into a good mood with your words. But, you can also get yourself to a point of fear, depression, anxiety and worry with your bad words.
You will frame your life by your words. You will frame your world by the words that are in your heart.
Discipline is a practice. But, discipline is also intentional. You will have to be intentional about your words from now on.
To make this more real, you will need to ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you have received in your life from your words—good and bad!!!!
Once you see what you have received because you spoke that—change the way you speak.
What have you received in your life that is good and bad from the words you spoke?
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you catch yourself when you speak negative or speak unbelief every time.
Do this until you get in the habit of speaking the way the Bible says you are to speak instead of the negative faithless words or words against God.
Honest Speech
Another area of speech that is important is honesty. It is so rare that people are honest in their speech for a lot of reasons. Sometimes being honest is hurtful. Sometimes people don’t know if what they say will be received. Sometimes people just lie because it seems easier.
No matter the reason, you will get the fruit of that dishonest speech.
Do you tell the truth when speaking to others?
Are you intentional in telling the truth and not lying? Explore this area here in your answer.
You must be honest when you talk to people. Say only what you mean. Don’t say more than you want to say. Do not manipulate your words to anyone to get them to do what you want. That is not honest.
Dishonest speech goes against your own heart and the heart of God. Don’t get in a habit of telling people what they want to hear.
Hint: If you cannot commit to something say, “let me get back to you on that.” “I can’t commit right now” or “I need time to think about that”.
Do not say yes to things when you know you won’t do it. Make a decision now to live your life as honest as you can with yourself and other people.
Tell your spouse, if you are married, the truth. Why? If you don’t it will come back on you later. A lie is almost always found out.
What can you do
It’s actually not that hard to change your words. Creating a new habit is not as difficult as you may think. Let me give you a personal example that you may want to add to your life to create intentionality in this area.
Many years ago, I created a confession journal. The journal was a small three-ringed notebook that I typed out confessions of things I wanted to have in my life. They were things I wanted and what I thought God wanted.
I had confessions or “on purpose” statements and scriptures that I confessed over my marriage, my husband, my children, my finances, etc. I would sit in a chair and just read from the notebook and declare these things into the atmosphere. It wasn’t long after that that I began to see those things in my life as I said them.
You can do the same thing. At the end of this lesson is a list of confessions to get you started that you can say every day to begin the transformation of your life.
Grace Homework:
Become aware of what you speak. This week I want you to think about what you are speaking that is shaping your life. Try to make the connection to what you see in your life with what you have been saying with your mouth.
Write down words that you speak that you know you should not speak. Be honest.
Where did you get this way of speaking from? Is this from your childhood.
Are the words necessary? Or do you speak in anger or from a place of hurt?
Here is prayer of repentance over any wrong words you have spoken. These wrong words need to be eradicated from your life so that they will not produce a harvest in your life.
REPENTANCE PRAYER:
Father, I come to your throne and ask You for Your mercy and grace. God, I thank you for showing how the words I speak bring much grief and sorrow to my life. How my negative words bring those things to pass in my life that I don’t want. God I am asking you to cleanse my heart and forgive me for the negative words I have spoken. I repent for every wrong word I have spoken. I ask you to quicken my spirit when my words are spoken against others and myself. Lord, I forgive others who have spoken against me and repent of all the judgements and ungodly vows I have made. Father I receive your love and forgiveness bought for me by the blood of Jesus and the finished work of the cross. Amen.
Discipline of Speech Application
List ways that you know you can begin to speak differently in certain situations, to certain people. List ways that you know you have to work on and areas that you must change to gain discipline in this area.
Here is a list of confessions that you can use to get you started on your own confession journal. Read them and choose which ones or all that you will say every day to begin to train yourself to say what the Word of God says about you, your life, and your family.
CONFESSIONS:
I will study the Word of God. I will pray. (2 Timothy 2:15; Luke 18:1)
I never get tired or grow weary when I study the word, pray, minister, or praise God; but I am alert and full of energy. And as I study, I become more alert and more energized. (2 Thessalonians 3:13; Isaiah 40:31)
I am a giver. It is more blessed to give than to receive. I love to give! I have plenty of money to give away all the time. (Acts 20:35; 2 Corinthians 9:7–8)
I cast all my cares on the Lord for He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7)
I don’t have the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
I do not fear. I am not guilty. (1 John 418; Romans 8:1)
I am not passive about anything, but I deal with all things in my life immediately. (Proverbs 27:23; Ephesians 5;15-16)
I walk in the spirit all of the time (Galatians 5:16)
I have been set free. I am free to love, to worship, to trust with no fear of rejection or of being hurt. (John 8:36; Romans 8:1)
I don’t speak negative things (Ephesians 4:29)
I never bind a sister or brother with the words of my mouth (Matthew 18:18)
I am always a positive encouragement. I edify and build up; I never tear down or destroy (Romans 15:2)
I am a believer not a doubter (Mark 5:36)
I am slow to speak, quick to hear and slow to anger (James 1:19)
I am doer of the Word. I mediate on the Word all the day long (James 1:22; Psalm 1:2)
Work is good. I enjoy work. (Ecclesiastes 5:19)
Pain cannot successfully come against my body because Jesus bore all my pain (Isaiah 53:3-4)
I lay hands on the sick and they recover (Mark 16:18)
I have a teachable spirit (2 Timothy 2:24)
I am an obedient wife and no rebellion operates in me. (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Samuel 15:23)
**Here is the link for this lesson in my coaching workbook on Amazon called Grace to Live Coaching Program. Click Here.