The Solution to Offense

There is something that we all can’t escape. Offense!

Luke 17:1-4 says, “He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble. 3 Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

Offenses come as a result of someone becoming hurt, angry, disappointed, rejected, dismissed and more. They happen to anyone and everyone. They are usually unexpected. We don’t intend to get offended.  Another translation calls them a stumbling block or trap to lure one to sin.  Jesus is very strong in this truth by using the word ‘WOE to him through whom they come.’

Offense is something you really have to watch out for. The word itself comes from a Greek word skandalon, from which we get the word scandal. This word makes for a great word picture I want to show you to help you understand it better.  The word skandalon originally described the small piece of wood that is used to keep the door of an animal trap propped open. A piece of food was placed inside the trap to lure the animal inside. When the animal entered into the trap and accidentally bumped the skandalon, or the small piece of wood, the skandalon collapsed, causing the trap door to slam shut. Thus, the animal is now caught inside with no way to escape.

I hope you got the word picture that that is exactly what happens to us when we are offended by someone. We are setting ourself up to be caught in a trap. We get lured into a snare of the enemy and when we take the offense or the bait, the door then shuts on us and we are caught in the “trap”.

However, another meaning in the New Testament is a stone or an obstacle that causes one to trip, to stumble, to lose his footing, to waver, to falter, and to fall down. So, an offense will cause you to stumble in your walk with God, lose your footing, waver in your faith, falter and even fall down in your walk.

When you allow yourself to be offended, the enemy now has a hook in your life. He has something to attach on to or a way in to the soul.  He now has a way to gain control of the mind, will and emotions. When you stay offended you stay on his payroll, so to speak. The enemy always has a way in to your life.

So what is the solution to offense, because it will come and come often. It never goes away on its own. It is something that must be dealt with swiftly. So just how does one get free from something so destructive in their life?

Here are several things you need to evaluate about your own life before you can get to the final solution to offense:

• Did the person that offended you have ill intentions?
• Was this a church hurt you experienced?
• What were you thinking about at the time of the offense?
• Do you have a trigger or history that could cause you to see the actions or words of the person as offensive?
• Does this person remind you of someone in your past that hurt you?
• Are you possibly a person that is too sensitive?

Now that we have looked at some things to evaluate about yourself we must go back to the Word of God to get the solution to offense.

When someone offends you the verse says that you are to go to them and talk to them or rebuke them. This means that you approach the person and talk about this offense with them. Pray first and then see if you can get to a solution or healing place about what has happened and forgive them.

Yes, you are to forgive someone who did you wrong and even if they did it on purpose. Let me give you more clarity on the word forgive here in this verse.

The word forgive in Luke 17:1-4 is the Greek word “aphiemi”. It means to send away so that you can never retrieve it,  send away that you never bring it up again in your conversation or emotions. Wow! That is an awesome definition for forgive.

So my dear friend, the solution to offense is to forgive the person causing the offense. No matter what it is— FORGIVE.

You must look to your own heart and make sure it is clean at all times. Look diligently to the things in your own heart and keep it from offense.  Don’t look to the person who offended you as if they intentionally did it. Go to them privately and have a one-on-one conversation and address the issue. Don’t go with the intent to attack the person. The goal should be to resolve the issue as godly as you can.

Remember there are some people you will not be able to reach in a peaceful way. They are happy to be at odds with you. Pray, do your part and keep moving forward with your life. Give the person some time to process the situation and the raw emotions.

As a believer you should always resolve to keep your character intact in Christ in every interaction.

• God will hold others responsible for what they do to us.
• God will hold us responsible for what we allow to go on inside our minds and hearts.
• We cannot answer for the actions of other people.
• We will answer for our inward responses to what others have done to us.

I have attached here a simple pdf to help you remember what happens when you get offended and the choices you make in that moment. There are only two roads. You must choose but remember you will get those consequences. I say choose freedom and forgiveness. Click here to download your  copy of  Two Roads of When Someone Offends Me.

Selah.